I wanted to write a reflection on my generals experience while it was fresh in my mind. It’s a mix of my internal experience, the external experience, and some advice/takeaways. I’ve divided it into preparation stage, the exam itself, and post-exam thoughts. Hopefully, reading this is helpful for anyone preparing for their own generals, albeit each department is different and everyone’s experiences are different.
Preparation
The idea of preparing for such a big exam where I could be questioned about anything from a reading list of 10 textbook chapters and 10 papers was incredibly daunting until I found a way to create structure from the unstructuredness. Early on, a friend encouraged me to make for myself a timeline. How much time would I spend each week prepping and what would I do in those periods? I ended up blocking out 2-3 hours a day for 2 days a week dedicated to generals and made a timeline of what I would try to accomplish in that block (e.g., read 2 papers, outline my presentation, etc.). This made studying much easier because I no longer had to stress about what does studying look like today? Because I already determined what it would be. Granted, there is some degree of flexibility needed. I didn’t know what would end up taking longer than expected and had to be willing to add days or move things around as time went on.
Additionally, a big part was what did my studying look like? Rather than passively reading each textbook/paper, I created an study guide, mainly in the form of bullet points and questions. Every few sections of a textbook, I was forced to review what I just read and see if I could explain to myself the concepts I read. It was helpful to force myself to write it the explanations by hand as well.
At a certain point, maybe a few days before my exam, I realized that I know what I know and I don’t know what I don’t know. At this point, no amount of trying to learn new things would stick. I had to accept that fact rather than stress about trying to cram more.
Looking back, I quite enjoyed having the structured time to just learn about something. Moving forward, I think this is something I will incorporate into my day, albeit for less time and less frequently, to make sure I remain on top of paper reading and also learning more fundamental topics.
Often, I found it hard to balance caring about studying without worrying. It felt like if I didn’t worry, then I wouldn’t put in the effort and then I wouldn’t pass. I do think it is possible to study and intently without worrying, but it is a very fine line between the two. Lastly, in my own experience, I was very grateful to have established a routine of not working evenings and weekends prior to studying for generals. It made me take the weekends off to reset my mind after an exhausting week and I think if I didn’t have that habit before, I would’ve thought I needed to study, when in reality, that would probably tire me out more.
Exam My exam was a presentation about my current research (to a public audience) as well as a private oral exam by my committee. I was more nervous for the oral exam portion, fearing not knowing what would be asked by the committee, but in the moment, I think the presentation was more stressful. I couldn’t tell how well the audience was receiving the content and seeing someone make a face made me stumble over my words once or twice. However, it was such a blessing to see a few friends smile and nod whenever I made eye contact with them. Even if they didn’t understand what was going on, it was so encouraging!
During the oral examination, I recall thinking to myself “pretend you’re explaining these concepts to your students, rather than 3 senior professors”. That was helpful for calming my nerves and feeling like it was more of a curiosity based question rather than a gotcha! question. The more open-ended research questions were tougher–I didn’t quite know how to respond, but in these moments too, it was helpful to think about them as research discussions rather than them trying to trap me. I found myself stuck on my words because I was afraid to say “the wrong thing”. However, most of the time, there is not right answer–only what are you thinking about this topic?
Takeaways
I think the biggest thing is to view your generals exam not as a “make or break” moment, but as a checkpoint to identify in what areas can you most grow in as a researcher in these next few years? In order to truly identify your areas of growth, it’s necessary that you are truly vulnerable and open for your committee to see where you’re at. It’s scary for us to put our weaknesses on the table, but it is indeed part of the growth process. Receiving feedback about my generals was one of the best parts because my advisor and committee was able to put into words areas of growth that I knew I had, but had never really formulated into words. From just that two hours, they were able to identify incredibly clearly where I could be growing and wanted to help me. It’s a checkpoint, not an exam.